Warning signs for you to proceed with caution…

Do any of the following sound familiar? Most wives have come across some of these signs and symptoms at one time or the other. I have numbered them for ease of identification!

1. Suffers from facial paralysis and is therefore incapable of smiling.

2. Cannot look you in the eye lest you see the anger behind the pupils. When he does look up, his eyes say one thing, and one thing only – ‘Go away!’

3. Is Dumb – and therefore unable to speak. Sometimes the capacity for speech returns but only in grunts and other alphabet-defying monosyllables.

4. Is Deaf – cannot hear what you say particularly if it is a request for something to be done. Simply has no time to do anyone any favours.

5. Is Blind – unable to see
a) The lovely new dress you have put on
b) The make-up that took you 4 hours to paste on.
c) That the lawn is overgrown and needs to be mowed.
d) The verandah light has not been working for a week now…
e) The Kitchen sink is blocked.

6. Is almost always angry and breaks the silence loudly blowing every issue out of proportion as he walks away from you muttering curses under his breath.

7. Slaves away at self-assigned tasks and tinkers with the car even when there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

8. Has no sense of humour – and this is no laughing matter!

9. Does not like to entertain visitors – he just wants to be left alone.

10. Has no wish to visit friends/relatives particularly those of the offender.

11. Sits quietly in front of the TV, with the remote on a coffee table four feet away. Unusually, he does not channel-surf. He watches old black and white National Geographic documentaries for hours without even blinking!!

12. The sex-starved husband is a ZOMBIE – ‘the Walking Dead’!!

About the Author

I am a banker by profession. I am married with three adult children - all girls! The two older ones are now married. I became a Christian in my first year of University in the late seventies and have never looked back since. It has been a great adventure, I'd say. I am a senior elder in my local church responsible for the Bible teaching programs. I enjoy that. My wife and I are involved in a Marriage Ministry called HAPPY HOME PROMOTIONS which started way back in 1987. Through this, we have addressed scores of Marriage Seminars and counselled many, many couples - married and premarriage. The ministry seeks to fight divorce in all its forms. I still enjoy the ocassional game of soccer, albeit at a S-L-O-W pace now. I am a keen photographer, a fisherman, a carpenter as well as a beekeeper.

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