Category Archives: Marriage Counseling

GOD HATES DIVORCE

John & Virginia Makumbe It is true that sometimes two married people may fail to continue to love each other the way they did before and soon after their marriage. This situation is worsened when one of the spouses begins to see other people outside of the marriage. The sad case of a Government Minister reported in the papers recently is illustrative of the folly of infidelity. Somebody likened marriage to two pieces of paper that have been glued together. Any attempt to separate them will result in both of them being torn and damaged. Perhaps that is why God hates divorce. Nobody walks out of a marriage unharmed. Married couples should therefore do their best to resolve their differences through talking and getting good counselling from pastors, friends and relatives. Couples should try and forgive each other instead of rushing into divorce.   We are not in any way implying that divorce is inevitable where there has been infidelity. Sexual sin is not the unpardonable sin. It should be possible for a couple to forgive each other and re-commit to their marriage. Problems often arise where one spouse repeats the folly of infidelity after being forgiven first time. In …

STOP THE NAGGING

What is nagging? A repeated request for something to be done which the other person ignores or trivialises. They get annoyed and you also get annoyed. And so the dance goes on. 93% of the time nagging is used to refer to boisterous, loud, demanding wives. But we also have men who nag. They make up the remaining 7%. If it is not working, conventional wisdom says change the method or the approach or just drop it. Stop the nagging. Unless what you want done is critical and earth-shaking. It will get you nowhere apart from causing the other person, usually your spouse, to despise you. Nagging introduces tension. Nagging poisons the atmosphere. Nagging stifles conversation. Nagging suffocates friendship. Nagging wastes energy and sucks the fun out of marriage. Nagging is a spoiler!! According to various versions of the Bible, nagging is described as being bitter-tongued, being a brawler, quarrelsome, contentious, argumentative, indulging in bickering! Proverbs 21:9 ESV It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. Do you wish to have any of those adjectives applied to you? Why not make your request once or twice and trust …

ANANIAS AND SAPPHIRA AGREED!!

AT LEAST THEY WERE IN AGREEMENT!! Nothing positive has ever come out of Ananias and Sapphira. (Book of Acts 5:1-10) They sold a property, kept back some of the money then made a false declaration to the disciples about the price. They did not have to lie at all. They could have kept back as much as they wished as long as there was a complete and true disclosure. They gave the impression that they were giving 100% of the proceeds of the sale. Their lie or attempt to lie to the Holy Spirit had no excuse whatsoever. They were men-pleasers. They sought the praise and acknowledgement of men rather than that of God who knows all men and sees the attitudes and motives of our hearts. The lie yielded instant deaths. ¬†THEY AGREED One redeeming fact though. This husband and wife team were in agreement. Now, please do not misunderstand me here. The lie was a sin and they paid dearly. But allow me to look at the other side of things for a while. They agreed to sell the property. They sat down, discussed and agreed¬†on how much to conceal. They agreed on the response to the apostles. …

A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS A CHOICE!

HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE A Happy and satisfying marriage is a CHOICE. It is an act of the will. You decide that you will do right, act right, speak right, think right and relate right! You decide you want to be happy. MISERY IS A CHOICE!! At the bottom of most of our fights and disagreements is a childish desire to have our own way often called selfishness. Think about it for a while. Rewind to the last angry episode you had with your spouse. You insisted you were right. And so did he. Your idea made more sense. He felt his was the best course of action. You thought to yourself,’Why does he always have to be right?’ Meanwhile he is saying to himself, ‘She thinks she is smart; I will not let her get away with this!’ Back and forth you argued trying to get the better of the other. Arguing can be exhausting, so after a while you retreat into some corner in sullen silence while he takes refuge in the TV lounge to stare blankly at the screen. The issue remains unresolved. Dialogue has been replaced by silence. Love has been displaced by resentment. …