Category Archives: For Wives

WHERE’S THE REMOTE?!

WHERE’S THE REMOTE??!! Some of you might have watched the coffee creamer advert on TV where a husband literally ransacks the kitchen looking for his favourite creamer. He goes through the cupboards and rummages through the fridge only to have the wife shout from the next room, “It’s not inside – it’s on top.” It is not IN the fridge but ON TOP of the fridge. How relieved when he grabs the creamer container. Today that scene is oft repeated – not in the kitchen – but in the lounge. The man of the house is frantic. He crawls on all fours. He shifts the heavy sofa effortlessly, first to the right and then to the left. Picks up and inspects under every cushion.  He is now breathing heavily and comes just short of cussing while demanding, “Where’s the remote”, “Who took the remote”, “Who touched the remote”, “Who removed it from my arm rest?” You walk into the lounge and pick up the remote from the TOP of the TV and hand it to him with a meek, “Here it is – it’s on top!”. He takes it from you. He is angry. He does not even attempt to mutter a “Thank …

The sex starved husband or boss

Warning signs for you to proceed with caution… Do any of the following sound familiar? Most wives have come across some of these signs and symptoms at one time or the other. I have numbered them for ease of identification! THE SEX STARVED HUSBAND/BOSS 1. Suffers from facial paralysis and is therefore incapable of smiling. 2. Cannot look you in the eye lest you see the anger behind the pupils. When he does look up, his eyes say one thing, and one thing only – ‘Go away!’ 3. Is Dumb – and therefore unable to speak. Sometimes the capacity for speech returns but only in grunts and other alphabet-defying monosyllables. 4. Is Deaf – cannot hear what you say particularly if it is a request for something to be done. Simply has no time to do anyone any favours. 5. Is Blind – unable to see a) The lovely new dress you have put on b) The make-up that took you 4 hours to paste on. c) That the lawn is overgrown and needs to be mowed. d) The verandah light has not been working for a week now… e) The Kitchen sink is blocked. 6. Is almost always angry …